Six Months
Well, it’s been six months since I last updated this mofo so it seems like a good idea to do it again.
So, the latter half of 2008 was kind of rough. I felt crappy a lot of the time. Lonely too. Lots of crying and feeling mopey and sorry for myself. Waaah! It’s hard when you’re in a funk like that to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. There were good times too, of course, but they always felt short-lived and were never enough to cast much light on the crappiness.
I’m feeling much better these days, though. Nothing’s ever perfect in life, but despite some complications and things that weigh on my mind, I’m more content than I can remember being in a long, long time. I feel comfy in my own skin. I feel like I’m appreciated and cared about and that’s a good feeling.
I’ve met some new people and gotten closer to those I’ve known for a while and I’m so happy for it. Other friendships have gone through some tough times and I’m hopefully doing all I can to make things better. I have a hard time accepting things might be out of my control. All I can do is be honest and hope I’m showing how much I care about the people I do.
I’ve sort of let myself get into some bad habits - Working too much, not sleeping enough, not eating very well. I’ve been getting sick way too often. I’m frequently extremely tired and run-down feeling. I’ve gained a handful of pounds. I’m not thrilled that I’ve let all this happen, but it’s nothing I can’t change. This stuff is in my control for the most part. I’ve sort of allowed myself to lose my focus over the course of late 2008 and I need to get it back and make the necessary adjustments in order to focus on all the people and things that are important to me.
As much as I love my apartment and living so near my mom, the commute is killing me. Not only am I in the car too much, I end up getting not enough sleep because I have to get up so early to get to the office, all my friends live by work… It’s just not convenient for anything other than proximity to my mom. That’s a big consideration, though. As is the cost and inconvenience of finding a new place and moving. My lease here runs through June so we’ll see where my mind is in a few months.
My birthday is in a little over a month. 30 wasn’t exactly the super-awesome year I’d hoped for, but I do think I learned a lot and I guess I can’t ask for too much more than that.
So, to sum up - Life isn’t perfect, but it’s good. Parts of it are very good. I’d go so far as to say I’m something resembling happy. I’m hopeful 2009 will be a good year for me. We shall see!
